My Life: Late February 2018 Recap: Mental Breakdowns, Expensive Sunglasses And Bubble Tea!

FEBRUARY 9 — FEBRUARY 17

On Friday, February 9th, I discovered a new app called HQ Trivia. It’s a live game show that takes place twice a day and lasts for about 20 minutes. If you get all 12 questions correct, you split a cash prize. I played for the first time that night and made it to question number 7. I’m sure at some point, I’ll get all 12 questions correct. 

On Saturday, February 10th I had my first two rehearsals of Sleeping Beauty. My first rehearsal was basically a lifting workshop where my partner and I were experimenting with different lifts that we could do during our duet. The next rehearsal was for the Rose Adagio, which is where Aurora dances with four potential suitors. I had a lot of fun with that dance.

Later that night, Emma and I went to see a trans-gender talent show fundraiser thing. A few of our friends were in it, so we decided to go watch. The talent ranged from poems to songs to skits to dancing. Emma and I ended up leaving early though because it was running a lot later than I expected, and I was getting really tired. Once I got home, I pretty much had a mental breakdown. 

Sunday was a hard day. I still was in the middle of my mental breakdown. I managed to get myself out of bed to get over to Gerry’s place in the morning. He made me breakfast and I hung out until I had to leave for rehearsal. 

I only had one rehearsal and that was for the waltz at the beginning of Aurora’s “coming of age” party. It’s a wonderful distraction when I immerse myself into my character. The moment rehearsal was over, it was back to reality and I was back to my low self. I spent another two hours before I finally got up to get a couple things at the grocery store. Then I treated myself to a lavender scented bubble bath. I slowly started to feel better. 

Because of the Insomnia I had on Monday night, I woke up so late on Tuesday that I only had about half an hour to get ready for work. It sucked, but I made it. I hate how if I don’t get the 8 hours of sleep that I need, I can’t wake up when I want to wake up. I wish there was a way I could have less sleep and still function. Because of that morning, I decided to not go to dance class this week. I went to Kohls after work and bought a really cute dress for $20. I saw it yesterday, so I came back for it. I needed a more tight-fitting sophisticated dress. I don’t have dresses like those. 

I forgot how fun Valentine’s Day can be when you work in a school and have a group of friends to hang out with. It’s not that bad being single on Valentine’s Day. I got some pink carnations from my boss and some candy from the kiddos. Game night is always fun too, and it’s been two weeks since the last one, so it felt like it had been a while. 

On Thursday while I was at my parents house, I discovered that Emma’s cat really likes to watch the rehearsal videos that are posted for us to watch. She really watches them and paws at the screen. It’s just so incredibly adorable. 

Friday was probably the craziest day ever, but I made it. I was so happy that it was vacation. I needed this badly. 

Saturday I had two rehearsals. One for the Rose Adagio, which we finished. The second one was for Waltz which we are almost finished with. In between rehearsals, I got some Chipotle. After rehearsal, I went over to my mom’s so she could help me fill out some paperwork for my wisdom teeth consult appointment that upcoming Friday. 

Later that night, my family had a small gathering for Emma’s 22nd birthday. Her birthday was on Monday but I was so busy that I didn’t have time to acknowledge her birthday. We always have the “party” the weekend after the birthday if the day doesn’t fall on a weekend. I got her a small black purse. 

I picked up Gerry to spend the night at my house. Logically, my house was closer to the rehearsal we needed to be at in the morning and he could get free transportation from me. In my perspective, I just needed someone to be with for the night.

FEBRUARY 18 — FEBRUARY 24

On Sunday morning, Gerry and I went to go get breakfast at BreaLu Cafe. I had a cheese omelet, homefries, and some gluten free toast. It filled me right up and I didn’t have to eat again until mid-afternoon. When we got to our rehearsal space, we couldn’t park in the parking lot because nobody plowed the unexpected nine inches of snow we got overnight. A lot of people shoveled who weren’t in rehearsals, and we just parked on the street. 

I started off with Gerry’s rehearsal for a number called Hop. This is a high energy swing dance number that takes place after the Waltz and before the Rose Adagio. It’s a lot of fancy footwork. Very typical of Gerry’s choreography. I picked it up pretty quickly because I’m a trained dancer and also I’m very used to his choreography. 

I dropped Gerry off at his work after rehearsal, but first we stopped for cookies. They had gluten free Coffee Cakes and had samples. So I got a little sample to try. It was really good. When I got back to rehearsal, I had to wait around for about 45 minutes until my next rehearsal. My next rehearsal was for Lilac Fairy’s Gift. This was a duet during which I’m falling asleep after pricking my finger. We got about halfway through it. It’s really hard to count, but for right now, I’m just trying to remember the steps in order and to do it slowly. 

Monday was mainly a catch up day for me. I got caught up on my blog and my youtube videos. I also managed to do a load of laundry. I still need to get caught up on dishes, and cleaning my house, and grocery shopping, but it’s a start. I went to work at my retail job at 5pm and mainly worked on setting up for our new sunglasses cases. We are one of the few stores that will be carrying Oakley, Rayban, Vogue, and AX sunglasses. I got all the fixtures mostly set up for the product. 

I had to come back into work Tuesday morning to actually put the sunglasses out. My friend Lindsey and I were scheduled together to work on that and we had way too much fun trying on all the sunglasses. We also competed to find the most expensive pair of sunglasses. The most expensive pair we found was $203 in the brand Ray-Ban. I was there until 1pm and then clocked out. We had gotten most of the sunglasses out. 

I jumped at the opportunity to see my best friend when he was available to go get something to eat. We went to UNOs. He ordered a chicken caesar salad and I ordered some herb rubbed chicken with steamed broccoli and mashed potatoes. After we ate, we walked around the mall a little bit and my legs were getting really tired from being on my feet all day. 

I had one more day of work on Wednesday, then that night I went to game night. A bunch of little things kept piling up in my head, mostly having to do with social anxiety since it was a larger group that night. I ended up escaping to their kitchen and leaving early. I had Gerry come over and spend the night because I was so mentally unstable. 

On Thursday, Gerry and I worked on cleaning up my place. I let things slide way too much. We cleaned up all the dishes that piled up, the bathroom, and the floor of my bedroom. It looks so much better than it did. We also went to Target to pick up some groceries and a couple more things. He taught me how to use my crockpot and how to make an omelette.

I had a dentist cleaning at 1pm and then I went over to my friend’s house to hang out. I brought what I made in the crockpot, some chocolate, and a couple games. We played some Sushi Go and then had some dinner from the crockpot. I had made a stew consisting of onions, broccoli, carrots, and beef. It was seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and oregano leaves. It turned out really good. Then she gave me a makeover. She did my eyes and my lips and straightened my hair. I think it turned out really good. Then she had to get ready to go, so I left and went home. Originally, we had planned to sleepover, but then she had to go somewhere that night, so we just hung out for a couple hours. 

On Friday, I had my consult appointment to look at my Wisdom Teeth. I was in and out in half an hour. They said that my two top teeth would be pretty easy to get out but my two bottom teeth would be more of an issue since they were both horizontal. They said the whole procedure would only take about 20 minutes to do, 20 minutes to recover, and then a 5 day recovery period at home. It sounds like it’s not going to be bad at all. It will be costly, but I didn’t schedule an appointment until I knew what insurance was going to cover. 

While I was killing time, I went to the bookstore and read more about BPD. I only read a little bit, but I feel like I understand my personality a lot more. 

At around 4:30, I got picked up by a friend and we went to a tea place. I had asked him if he wanted to hang out, cause I had never hung out with him before. He immediately asked what it was, like if it was a date or not. I ignored my BPD/anxiety and said that I just wanted to hang out. I always have a tendency to jump right into things, and I was trying really hard not to. We ended up having to go to another tea place to find food that I could actually eat. I had a strawberry bubble tea at the first place and some rice with some seasoning on it at the second place. 

He then took me to his place so I could meet his cat. We just hung out and played with his Amazon Echo and looked at funny things on Facebook. Then at around 9:15 we headed over to Get Air to jump on trampolines with friends. It was really cool because they had turned all the lights off and had some black lights on. I had never been to Get Air when it was like this. We were there for two hours. I was really tired after the first hour, but I had fun. 

He dropped me off at home at around 11:30ish, and he said he had a good time, which I’m glad. I didn’t want it to be awkward. Hopefully we can hang out again sometime. 

On Saturday I had three rehearsals. I had two duets back to back for a total of an hour and a half. The first one being Lilac Fairy’s Gift from last week and then a new duet, Awake, where I just wake up from my slumber and dance with the prince. Then I got dressed up for a photoshoot for a poster picture. Then I had another rehearsal, Waltz, for another hour. Then that evening I went to my brother’s percussion band dress rehearsal, which was kind of cool. My mom and I had a conversation about how I could totally go undercover as a high school student cause I could blend right in. So if anyone’s looking to hire someone to do that, I’m a good candidate! I picked up Gerry at around 9:45 so he could stay at my house again. This was so he could be close to rehearsal and I could drive him from my house instead of going to pick him up in the morning. He had a surprise for me… a shoe rack. So I could organize my shoes a lot better, I still need to find a spot for it in my house though. 

FEBRUARY 25 — MARCH 1

On Sunday, after struggling to wake up, Gerry and I made our way to rehearsal. Our rehearsal was only 45 minutes long and then I had a 2 1/2 hour gap until my next one. Words of wisdom: Welcome To Being A Lead. I dropped Gerry off at his house after rehearsal and went home, by then, it was starting to snow pretty bad. I ended up getting a call at noon from the director telling me that the rest of rehearsals for the day were cancelled, so I got to spend the rest of the day at home, which was really nice. I barely moved from my couch. I wanted to savor the last day of vacation before working for a solid six weeks before the next one. 

Back to work on Monday. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was definitely long. I need to get used to it again. 

My oven almost caught fire Wednesday morning. I saw a couple sparks as I was cooking and quickly panicked and threw water on it extinguishing it. It was kind of scary.